Saying Good-bye

As a gardener, I have transplanted many things. In fact, once you get comfortable with it, plants can become like furniture: "You know, I think I prefer the black-eyed susan in the front yard, rather than the back." So I get the shovel and move it. I suppose it takes some skill to do this, but I no longer think about it too much because I have done it so many times. Most of the time, it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Some plants just don't take to it too well.

As an Army wife, I have transplanted people too. I have done this many times also, but unlike the plant stuff, I think about it, and think some more, every time. Some people take better to transplanting than others. I am a creature of habit and structure, so one of the stupidest things I could have done was marry a soldier. But...well...this love business can ruin your best laid plans.

The moving process is much more complicated and difficult for the women in my husband's life, than it is for him. Unlike us, he never truly integrates into the community, and the people he works with are very fluid and not always around for long. Unfortunately for me, I am the one stuck with the civilian dental and doctor visits and school volunteer work and seeing all of the same people all of the time.

Today was the last day of school for my girls. I said good-bye to all the people that I had gotten to know during my many, many hours of volunteer work there. It was painful and sad and has left me broken up and worn down. I will, in all likelihood, never see these people again. I will never see Bridget and Angela, the faithful teacher's aides who I assisted every day, all year, in the lunch room. I will never see my daughter's absolutely fantastic kindergarten teacher. I will never see Bob the elderly crossing guard again. I gave him a card yesterday telling him how special he had become to me these past three years. As I drove away today for the very last time, he said, "Thanks for my card, I will treasure it for the rest of my life." I know he meant that totally and completely.

While I didn't always like this duty station, there are things that I too will always treasure for the rest of my life. My heart is breaking. I am uprooting my girls, leaving a home that I have spent four years in (the longest time I have been in the same place since marriage), a home that we owned that is full of sweet memories. I am leaving behind people that will always hold a special place in my heart. The mind is funny. I have snapshots of past places and the people I remember are frozen in time for me. Years and years may go by, but for me, all my Kansas school friends will still be doing duty in the lunchroom, or making copies for teachers, and Bob will always be out there on the corner watching out for the little ones as they cross the street.

And now, with only a few days left, I am counting on my battle buddy to get us through this, to help me do what has to be done. I'll hold his hand, and we'll start a new chapter in a new place, and I will start all over again.