Why I started a blog

This fall my life will be changing in a dramatic way. I will be home alone for the first time in almost ten years. I have spent ten years being a SAHM. I gave up a promising teaching career (well, not monetary promising, but fulfilling promising, plus, I was good at it!!!). I gave up a life outside myself so that I could devote my energies to my infant daughter, who turned into a preschooler with a sister. I don't regret this. Not one single bit. I love being the one who raises my girls, the one who takes care of them all the time.

My Catholic faith teaches that we all have a calling, a vocation. After my first child was born, I realized my true vocation. It was being a wife and mother. This may sound silly, but I did feel the power of the Holy Spirit telling me this was right. I felt so completely fulfilled devoting myself to their care. I loved being a mom. I rarely missed the concept of "me time." Of course, I was raised in a culture where "me time" and motherhood were never believed to go together. I can hear my mother's friends now, "Me time? Que es eso? You're a mom, no hay 'me time.'" I tend to agree with them. If you have a kid, it is fully committing yourself to another's welfare, it is thinking outside and beyond yourself.

And now, my little one will probably be heading off to kindergarten soon (I say probably because she and school haven't mixed well so far, so...we will see how that goes). Once she does this, I will be ALONE all day!!! This hasn't happened to me since....gee...I can't even remember. The last time I was free from my motherly duties I was in the ICU. From my hospital bed I was busily directing my mother and husband in exactly what needed to be done and how to find the things needed to do so.

Now I am so close to some freedom. So close that I desperately need to find something to occupy myself. What do mommies do when they are laid off or get their hours cut? I am trying to dig deep down into my being and discover a little remnant of me. I have always enjoyed writing and have decided that I should take all the little story ideas I have and finally do something about them because now I can. In addition to my little stories I thought that maybe if I forced myself to write on a regular basis, it would be a good exercise for me. Sort of like your middle school English teacher made you keep a journal because it is good writing practice. Thus, the birth of my blog!!

In spite of my hatred of blogs and bloggers and all things blog, here I go starting one. I am trying to figure out a theme for my blog and am still working on that. Right now I am kind of liking the "why" concept, and I am flirting with a hate blog where I would just bitch and moan continually about things. Why? Mostly because I am good at that.

I do know that somewhere, buried under all the momminess and wifely stuff is a person who used to have ideas and thoughts and a self-concept beyond motherhood. I am going to find her again. At least during my hours off. The rest of the time I am still very happy being MOM.